Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My ass is underappreciated
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
