I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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