I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize