She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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