summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
