so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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