I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
