I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
