i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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