why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
