That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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