I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
