We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
