She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
