no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
