Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
