Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
