Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
