wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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