how can u be prego again
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
