if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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