just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
