Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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