im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
