Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I did not marry a roomba.
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