im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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