That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
