Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
