i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
