Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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