How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
