would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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