Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
