dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
