"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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