similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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