Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
