Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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