My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
sex in a hospital.. check
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
