I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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