yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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