Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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