new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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