Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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