so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it because I queefed?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
