entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
