a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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