You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
