nut hugger
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
