Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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