Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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