does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
