i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
