I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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