I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
